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Original in Chinese by 点仓 (Dian-cang) / www.loveyongjoon.com 17.12.2003
Translated into English by happiebb / www.joonsfamily.com 27.06.2004
It’s so easy to love you. Did you know that?
Min-hyung. That smile on your face as you pushed open the door. That weary look your wore after Yu-jin walked away spoke volumes about the loneliness and heartache you’re feeling. Tears that fell freely when you reunited with Yu-jin years after.
Dong-hyuk. How sharp and cold you were in the face of adversity. And how lonely your back looked as you walked off as the rest of the world gathered to celebrate.
It is really too easy to fall for you, to feel for you. Did you know that?
That’s not all. There’s Jaeho too. A deep character who just refused to bow down to the harsh reality of life, but yet still was beaten by life. But that fierce determination, the manliness… What about Yosuk? The almost too beautiful Yosuk… And yes, Chan-woo, a man of steely character and oozing masculine charm and charisma. The literary and intellectual Hyun-joon. The warm and carefree Yung-min. And yes, how can I not mention the colourful character of Cho Won? Cho Won who led a illustrious song-and-dance life, Cho Won who eventually died.
My only resistance was when I first encountered Joon in his character as Min-hyung. Just a very brief hesitation. And thereafter, I was totally captivated by this man. Completely. Unreservedly. Has been so for a long long time, and even today, I’m still drown in the very essence of you, not willing to wake up from this very beautiful dream that is Joon.
It’s not at all easy to love you. Did you know that?
You’re in faraway land, and me? Ha, I’m in this little town in the western part of China. Day in, day out, I looked for you. But no, I couldn’t find you on my TV screen. There’s no sign of you in the newspapers and magazines. Nobody around me knew you. You may be alone and lonely, so am I. Until one fine day. I found you in Junxin (www.loveyongjoon.com, this is possibly the byj fan site in China with the largest member base).
Here at Junxin, I found beautiful essays after essays that sang odes to you. Here are Junxin, I found pages after pages of interviews that allowed me glimpses of the real person behind Min-hyung and the other roles that you have played. Here at Junxin, I found video clips after video clips that showed facets of you that I never dreamt existed. I was lost in the BYJ-realm. And I wonder.. Li Min-hyung, Shin Dong0hyuk, Kang Jaeho… behind all these characters, what are you, Bae Yong Joon, really like? What, or rather, who is the real you? Who is that I truly love? And is my adoration worthwhile? Or am I just being silly, being blinded by infatuation or perhaps this is pure idol adulation?
Frankly, I don’t have an answer. I don’t know. I even asked myself, Why do I have this urge to find out more about you, to learn about you? And hey, what right have I got to want to invade into your private world and know the real you? In the name of love? No, not even that can give anyone the power to do this, to try and peel away the layers for the real person inside. It’s almost strange how a person like me who have lived all of thirty years have come to this. With my years of maturity, I should have the judgement, I should be responsible enough, sensible enough and serious enough. So why can’t I love you, the person looking back at me from the TV screen? But… when I’m acting like this, I’ve lost all my maturity, my judgement, my sense of responsibility and gosh, I’ve lost my senses. Or… have I?
You are so wise. Did you know that?
You possess wisdom and you’re cut out for big things, I’ve always known that. Your every role, the intellectual and gentleness are deeply embedded to the core of the characters. Your each and every move and gesture, no need for further proof, you’ve instilled into every character you played the very wisdom that only you possess. You gave life and intelligence and spark to the roles you portrayed. No one else could have played out these roles with so much conviction. You ARE them. In real life, you display the same wisdom. I can see this in how you always painstakingly and contemplatively made your choice of script. And I can see this in how you plan your life and chart your career. Wisdom is also evident in your everyday life, in your attitude. When you decisively packed up and left after HWRL, when you came back and picked your comeback role, it was obviously your own thinking at work. Your every choice, every decision have always proven to work, proven to be right. You will never act rashly, always taking the time to consider your choices and plan your next move. If you’re uncertain, you wouldn’t act. But once you’re sure of something, you’d go all out and aim for the kill. This is almost like Dong-hyuk, except this is no show, it’s real life.
To be a Joon-fan is a very simple and wondrous thing. We just have to believe in you, to trust you, there’s really no need to worry about anything. We need not worry about you making the wrong choices. We need not worry about you getting yourself embroiled in scandals or senseless paparazzi. We just have to support you, then bask in your glory after each successful move. Then what? Then we just have to carry on believing in your and your choices. You are as wise as can be, and I am as lucky as can be (to be your fan).
You’re truly a beautiful being. Did you know that?
Other than your wisdom and intellect, do you know what else about you moves me so? It’s your sincerity. By nature, I’m a very suspicious person, and in life, most of us have to compromise in things that we do. But I always believe what you say. This is trust. Trust that I’ve decided to give to you after much thought. Trust that time and time again, you’ve earned from the things that you’ve done. In this aspect, I’m not blinded by my adoration for you. You’re someone who would not succumb to circumstances easily. You’ve always maintained your standards and stood firmly on your ground. You’ve always been like this, not wishing to patronize others. You’d much rather maintained your stand than to give in for fear of offending someone. You’ve proven to your fans how appreciative you are of our support through action. Your attitude and way of life show your sincerity. You’re never patronizing, never hypocritical nor insincere. If you say you’d do it, you would. Having been in the limelight for more than a decade, your unwavering attitude have proven, time and time again, of your sincerity. It is only when someone is genuinely like this, then the someone is able to behave in such a consistent manner for so many years.
And another thing. You’re always so serious and responsible, towards your own life. This is probably precisely why you’re always so responsible towards others around you, towards your work. You’re never late for work, and you work very hard. It is this very attitude that you have managed to jump from the small screen to the silver screen and with so much success. The box office showed that the people loved your work. The awards showed that you’ve won the critics over. You are such a man, encompassing so many qualities such as wisdom, sincerity, sense of responsibility and others. How then can you not be a beautiful being? How then can you not have a great career? How then can you not produce outstanding work? How then can anyone resist you? How then can we not love you?
As beautiful as you. As outstanding as you. I know these, and I only know these. And it is enough.
I know I’m rambling on here. But you, the man who’s given me such passionate and powerful thoughts! If is you who have brought me great joy, with your wonderful works. I’m all tangled up in my thoughts, and I’m tongue-tied. I only know that, to me, you’ve created a persona that surpasses all the roles that you’ve played out onscreen. I only know that with your existence, after the flurry of fast and furious thoughts of adoration will come peace of mind. Watching you from afar with a calm heart with love. Never before have I felt like this.
Nobody can be like you. This much I know for sure.
Won’t ever feel for someone the way I’ve felt for you. This much I know for sure.
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